Friends, good friends, at least, are a lot like cigarettes. If you're a smoker, you'll know what I mean. Some smokers are loyal smokers: they're marlboro lights girls, or american spirit enthusiasts, etc, etc. Others, like me, like to jump around, but we have our favorites. Sometimes I'm in the mood for a nice, light, minty marlboro menthol light. Other times, it's the peppery taste of a camel. And still other times, I crave the richness of a mild seven charcoal filter. But just because I don't stick to one, doesn't mean that I don't appreciate them all. Good friends are a lot harder to find than cigarettes, but they're so much more precious (and yes, I know, they don't kill you).

After turning 23 a few months ago, I've come to realize that the older I get, the harder it is for me to meet people who I really adore. People who I just absolutely love, and will never, ever tire of. These people are my mild seven/camel/marlboro all rolled up into one delightful package. That said, it's February, and February has always been one of the dreariest months for me. February is the depths of winter, the month where I start to feel the wear and tear of post-holiday depression, and the pressing responsibilities of the coming year. But February is also the month where two of my favorite people in this world were born: Ms. Annie Duh and Ms. Lisa Yoon. So here are two birthday tributes, most clumsily and awkwardly written, partly because I feel so much for you guys that it's hard for me to contain all that feeling into coherent words. But here's to my favorite marlboro/camel/mild seven cigarettes in the whole world. =D

First, to Lisa (since your birthday is first):

What is there to say to you that I haven't already said? On so many nights, you've been the only person keeping me from crying into my pillow until the sun rises. Honestly. I can't even begin to recount the number of times that you've cheered me up just by being you, whether it be through aim or on the phone. Our conversations are always limitless, boundless, because you are limitless, boundless. Your kindness, your wisdom, and your humor know no comparison. To say that we've shared many things, from the days of safeway crackers to anne of green gables (and most recently that excuse-for-a-writer mr. nicholas sparks) to bald eagles and hobbits, would be to not say enough. There aren't many people who I feel absolutely no reservations with, but you are one of them. I've often sat back and just watched you interact with people, and admired the ease and deftness with which you finesse your way into people's hearts. That sounds too conniving for someone of your nature, but what I mean to say is that you have a way of making an impression. There is something that is uniquely "Lisa" about you - you bring back an old-world charm and grace that people don't often come across these days. You may be a geek who identifies with even geekier cars, but you are also a lady who understands both the power of words, and the power of silence. You can light up a conversation with that sparkling wit of yours, but you can also sit by a friend in silence because you know that all she needs is your presence. Whether it be your acute capacity for empathy and compassion, or the ardent dedication that you display for all things and people that you love, it is a lucky thing for anyone to be able to call you a friend. You are a person who feels intensely, violently, almost, and I admire you so much for reaching the age of 24 and still having the courage to be just that. It's so easy to become more jaded, more cynical, as we grow older, but you've maintained that inner kernel of what is so very you, and you've done it so very well. Happy birthday, my dear wallie, my blog-ol, I simply adore you!

And to Annie, my best friend:

We've grown up together, you and I. From the days of Louis in high school, through berkeley and penn, and now in New York, finally together again, you've been my one anchor. We've changed, both of us, but we've changed together, in a way that has deepened and enriched both of us. It's so hard for me to think of the right words to describe you, I guess because to me, you are just Annie. You are the Annie that I know better than anyone else, the Annie that I love and treasure so very much. Have I told you that I'm so unreasonably proud of you? I'm not your family, you're not my sister, but you do feel like a sister to me in spirit. I'm so proud of all that you've done - the awesome career that you've managed to pull off while having tons of fun in the process, the life that you've made completely your own here in New York. I can't think of another person who I've shared more glasses of champagne and good conversation with. It's hard to explain just what I mean when I tell other people you're my best friend. I just don't think that they understand, because I think that friendships like what you and I have are very rare. When I call you my best friend, I mean that you are the friend I turn to first, even if I've just cried for three hours straight and am wearing my sweatshirt inside out. And this is because you are the person who knows me best, and that's not an easy task. We're full of contradictions, you and I, but somehow we've managed to find just the perfect chemistry between the two of us for a lifelong friendship. There are so many things about you that I love, and I'm sure you know this, but it's your 23rd birthday, so you deserve to hear a few nice things about yourself. You've drawn me out of a dark, bitter mood of depression countless times, and it's always been because of your tenderness and consideration, the way that you have of anticipating needs before they're even felt. You're surrounded by people who love you, and that's because you live your life with so much love - you may whine and complain, but when it comes down to it, I know no one else who lives life with so much vibrancy and unflappable spirit. I admire your intelligence and your work ethic (ha!), your unwavering idealism for romance (lucky justin, eh?) and your quirky sense of humor. I even admire your eerie resemblance to a certain Disney elephant (haha, just kidding!). But no, you truly are the best friend that a person could ever ask for. The best of best friends out there. Be fri, st ends, bff, whatever you want to call it, Annie Duh, I love you! =)

so many things seemed filled with the intent

to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something everyday. Accept the fluster

of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:

places, and names, and where it was you meant

to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or

next-to-last, of three loved houses went.

The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And vaster,

some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.

I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture

I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident

the art of losing's not too hard to master

though it may look like (write it!) disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop